THE BALD ONE Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 Please share any comments from the dug out , be them funny , non-constructive or even abusive. I will start it off : At last nights game - Parkway v Tavistock , after some poor attempts to clear the ball from the Parkway goal mouth , the shout from the Parkway bench was : " Defend Properly " Class ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponsonby Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 My old favourite "It's not Rocket Science!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanks Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 From the Dave Pearce and Keith Husband days - For fu*k sake, just fu*king clear it you fu*king w*nker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldeneye Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 You've all heard this one, but I laugh every time I hear it. A manager just about to make a sustitution shouts out; 'Quick, warm up - I'm taking you off' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Pethick Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 From the Dave Pearce and Keith Husband days - For fu*k sake, just fu*king clear it you fu*king w*nker I thought that one was a Vincente Del Bosque line . :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemesis Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 "keeper, he always puts it to the right" - its that the keepers right or the penalty takers ? Well Done Bobby Oaten! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Chown Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 My favourite has to be: Paul Caddy - "Put it in the Mixer!!!!!", I've shouted it at many a football stadium around the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Matthews Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 Newquay v Pendeen at Mt Wise last season. "Stop ****ing around playing football, just ****ing get it up the field!" I was under the impression that playing football was the thing we all tried to do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchy Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 at sticker last season, 'keep it short'.... then the ball ends up at Lewis Prince's feet and gets smashed at goal from 40yrds! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crusty Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 All you have to do is stand next to mr bobby oaten. Probably some of the worst shouts of all time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NORTH DEVON DWELLER Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 Our now Chairman when he was manager used to love shouting "WALK" whenever we were winning and he made a sub. Don't think he got the fact that the ref adds 30 seconds per sub. Another was "he dived like a dying swan ref" when an opponent went down in the penalty box. :yahoo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Darren Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 Come on ref, you're ruining a shit game of football here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE BALD ONE Posted August 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 Priceless ..... lads absolutely priceless. ha ha ha . We will have to keep this topic going all season. :drink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponsonby Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 "Get tight lads, get right up their assess!" That must be a spin-off of "They don't like it up 'em." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornishteddyboy Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 That wasn't a tackle ref, that was an assault! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pro Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Fu@k sake ref that's shocking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE BALD ONE Posted August 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Another one you will here is " Slot it in his channel " ................ :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big no 5 Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Keep it tight at the back for the last 10 minutes!!! We were losing 5-nil at that moment in time.Words from the clipboard king that is Frank Gardiner. :yahoo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldeneye Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 In the football league a phsio was walking off with an injured player. The phsio looked at the manager and said. 'I think it's concusion, he's confused'. The manager replied ' tell him he's Pele and get him back on' :yahoo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falfootie Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Stay close to the centre forward - if he goes for a piss, you go with him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soccer Follower Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Jockey him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikec Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 As a manager the funniest thing i,ve said to a player was at half time ,i was telling a defender to get the ball down and pass it on told him to remember he,s a centre half not a footballer ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellow Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 "Shoot at the keeper- he couldnt catch a bloody cold" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falfootie Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Pre-match team talk - "I want 90% for 100 minutes"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crusty Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Leigh cooper special - Take that F**king cigar out your mouth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Home Waters Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 :thumbsup: When the keeper dropped the ball, the shout came - 'if I threw you a bag of chips I bet you'd catch that' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE BALD ONE Posted August 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 In the football league a phsio was walking off with an injured player. The phsio looked at the manager and said. 'I think it's concusion, he's confused'. The manager replied ' tell him he's Pele and get him back on' The best yet .............. :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Cox Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 "No, no, no! Why does he always......." "Great strike son! I've been telling him to do that for ages" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Boston Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 "Smack your head Ref, your eyes are stuck!" :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
margo Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Loving this topic :yahoo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soccer Follower Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 From the Chairman of my first club: "Great big boy like Bill,should be able to boot the ball from one end of the pitch to the other" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Mead Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 At a Womens football match, "Keep an eye on their number 6, she's got one hell of a crack on her!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B Manning Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 What about comments from referee`s we do have a sense of humour, I will start the ball rolling so to speak, player running through the centre circle get`s caught with a late tackle but his team retain good advantage so I play on, as I run by the player who was fouled he shouts " Jesus referee" I look down at him and reply " sorry son he couldn`t make it today you will have to put up with me".. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coady9 Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Its all about your individual battles if the man your marking scores 3 your not doing your job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaoke Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Whilst reffing a womens game at Dobwalls the manager shouted to one of his players " Open your legs". I think he was telling her to run faster. (I hope) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & Mark Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Gaffer "Sub please Lino" Gaffer shouting "NUMBER ELEVEN !" Skipper "Who Smithy ?" Gaffer "No the f*cking lot of ya !" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leigh Cooper Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Sorry Crusty, used a few in my time but certainly not that one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fingers R Us Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 Fetch him a ladder... when a player shoots way over the crossbar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
true_blue_browner Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 'stick to him like shit on a blanket' john dunn - dobwalls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
true_blue_browner Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 after a late challenge 'thats later than a virgin train' after a clearance shanked out for a throw in ' you wana cup of tea with that slice' (get that one alot with my goal kicking, usually from my own team! hahaha) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight Rider Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 At half time manager said to us "ive always said 2-0 is the hardest lead to keep"!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
telithowitis Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 One that makes me laugh everytime I hear it is when a header goes off in the wrong direction,, "He's got a head like a 50p" :c: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambi Posted August 16, 2012 Report Share Posted August 16, 2012 A number of years ago playing at a windy Marazion, our manager gave our defence the following tactical advice, 'if in doubt, St Michael's Mount'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE BALD ONE Posted August 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 At a Womens football match, "Keep an eye on their number 6, she's got one hell of a crack on her!" Priceless :yahoo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchy Posted August 17, 2012 Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 'get passed him, he's slower than me!' quite often the're not lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Carl.P Posted August 17, 2012 Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 (In a SWL game a few years ago) After the referee had given a penalty against his team for handball, the manager leapt from the dugout and screamed, "for f*#k sake ref you can't give handball for that, he can't help it, can't you see he f*#king well runs like that". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Pope Posted August 17, 2012 Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 "get at him, he's a donkey" Or "ref he can't f#####g can't say that to you" One I know I am guilty of and still use is "go fishing in the box" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motherwontletmegoargyle Posted August 17, 2012 Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 Can't remember where or when but after a keeper had let in the 5th or 6th goal manager mumbled "Thank christ he's getting married next week save me dropping him" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isaac rosenberg Posted August 17, 2012 Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 1. "Run past him, for f@~#k sake, he's older than God." 2. Half time, to club lino: "And YOU, get your f@#?&ing flag up, you're supposed to be the fifth member of the back four." 3. Toblerone Head ! 4. Mother, when aged 80, swinging crutches, clearing the visiting dugout at Lafrowda Park; "I will not tolerate your swearing !" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE BALD ONE Posted August 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2012 At last nights game - Parkway v Saltash. Parkway took the lead and a shout from the bench was " that's come because we're tighter ". From the Saltash bench - " Get in behind him " ........... I have got to start taking a note pad and pen to the games , there were more but I can not rememebr them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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